YEAR: 2017
START DATE: February, 2017
END DATE: February, 2017

This is two journals - one starts at the beginning, and one starts at the end. Both move to the middle. I employ left and right hand writing for the different observations I garner from each.

Journal Part 1. Starting at beginning. Cocooning in San Miguel de Allende in Mexico. Processing the news of 29 Pieces funding crisis. Photography in San Miguel. Beauty of Mexico. Color. Doorways in San Miguel. Come Home. The biggest weeks of reckoning about 29 Pieces since we began. Walking the streets of San Miguel. Short of breath in the high altitude. Chronic hip pain. Demographics of white people in San Miguel. Robert Menzies and Natalie Strecker of Vancouver, BC. I found someone who also wants to die in Varanasi. Health crisis on Butterfly Reserve. 11 or 12 thousand feet altitude. Couldn’t breathe. Spent the next two days in hospitals in San Miguel and Queretero. Doctors thought I had a pulmonary embolism. Light bulb moment/epiphany about what I could no longer do and what I still can. Daniel’s story - while being driven to airport to fly out of Mexico.

Journal Part 2. Starting at the end. Many charts for self discernment. How can I make a living? Where is the call? What are the questions? What is the reality? Where is the lack of belief? What are habits to be revised? What’s left at 29 Pieces? Is the divine speaking to me? What is the other shore? What happens in a cocoon? Where is joy? What wounded me? What am I praying for? A lightness of being. What are friends saying? What does Kelly say? At the intersection of: Big Difficulty and Diminished Strength. If I were in a cocoon right now, what would be happening? What habits do I have? What can I change? What is it like to feel defeated? Too much. Envisioning my lungs working. An epiphany. What/who disappoints? I admire: Debby Knotts. Who/what never/almost never disappoints? New habits.

Destabilized after loss of funding for 29 Pieces, lack of board participation in solutions. Trip to San Miguel. Major health scare and death rehearsal in San Miguel. Beginning of reassessment process.

29 Pieces lost expected funding from a major funder. Another gut punch. Financial crisis of 29 Pieces. I chose to use time on a long planned trip to San Miguel as cocooning time of reflection.

29 Pieces in state of shock and evaluation of where we are and where we want to go. Another chapter in the seemingly constant back and forth of joy - difficulty - obstacle - process - joy, fulfillment and on and on.