The Receipt Before Me 

The GREAT Blossoming

Top Soil, Manure, Blossoming
Weeds, Benefits + Dangers
The Garden, Flower + Weeds, [Roots]
5.) The chemistry of manure.
6.) The payoff of hard work and persistence.
7.) The fortuitous combination of factors out of our control. Right temps, right moisture, fertilizer that contribute to growth.
8.) The Judy Cam and factors born that way. In the DNA, in the spirit.
9.) An atmosphere conducive to growth. A veritable jungle or rainforest of growth.
The LOTUS emerges undefiled, [indiscernable text]...
Perfect Petals, Bright Color
Exquisite Symmetry
10.) By painting the picture in words of an embarrassment of riches of blossoming.
11.) Start with a Buddhist metaphor - the LOTUS. The lotus flower raises from muddy water unstrained, free from defilements.
Metaphorically, the compliments of the mud, the muck, the shit?
Additional transcribed text includes phrases such as "Dead critters," "Lurid run-off," and "Decompositions.

Even the darkness is not too dark. Exploring the darkness in my heart. The occasional darkness. It isn't TOO dark. This cool indifference that arises when overextended or disrespected. Back when working on ONE BULLET, I had experiential moments of recognition of darkness. And it wasn't "dark" as in light, or pure black. It was something cold steel blue gray indifferent, vacuous, expansive, windy, apathetic, infinite cold blue... ting. The exact polar opposite of a Van Gogh sunf lower painting. My mostly sun gazing heart has its moments, when I Turn away from the sun or someone pulls a "hood" over my head and I feel that biting wind on the back of my neck and for a moment or two or three, I am lodged in that expansive vacuous cold blue place. It's not where I want to be. Turn Pivot Recalibrated Refresh Back to soak up the light of energy compassion, humor and love. Even the darkness is not too dark. It can feel pitch black and still the hand of love can touch you. No filters No bent rays. No reflection

Sunday March 22, 2020 (4-2's) Quadruple2. Grey days Grey days, The gloomy skies almost every day this year reflect the strange foreboding in the time of pandemic. A year that began in communal unity at Rafi + Waheeda's on.

3.23.20 Kelly had a quick check up today. X-rays look 'perfect.' The six incision sites were not infected or swollen. The huge bandage came off and a sleek fiberglass cast went on—cool. Phoebe asked for my thoughts on her financial aid package. She asked specific questions. I have the experience of 29 pieces and the questions to ask:

Questions + Concerns use Phoebe as the example. Begin with a project budget.

How much money do I need? a. For what? b. Have I thoughtfully figured out my need? c. Can I express the $ amount clearly? x for rent x for food x for healthcare What is my need?
Why? What is my story about this need? What compelling, engaging way can I tell this story so that another person cares?

My story has moved through the arc and gone airborne. Reached the other shore. But in the world now the dumping is ongoing and its frightening. All this out will be told in so many stories, yet what will it’s impact be on the greater organism? Our earth?

[Drawing of a person 'How do you turn this bloody thing off?'] END of May 2020, Demoralizing times. Murder of George Floyd. More shit than we imagined has hit the fan. Will there be the seed of something better?

That's what I want to Will we learn? Will we write a triumphant, celebratory story for ourselves? A new Renaissance? Sometimes I think that the greatest thing any of us can do, is to stand in awe of the beauty. To look. Really look and appreciate. To be completely humbled by the way it all might go. A grain of sand. A drop of water. An egg. A seed.